Author: Kendra
Raging against the Family Machine
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(Originally published on Motherless Mom, June 8, 2020) Several years ago, my oldest was two years old and I was very pregnant with kid #2. Well, pregnant enough that I felt huge and restricted but not huge enough that the light at the end of the tunnel was near, so…
Death, Birth, and the Necessity of Reinvention
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(Originally published on Motherless Mom, October 16, 2019) My mother passed away on August 20, 2005, less than two weeks after I turned 20. My birthday and the anniversary of my mother’s death have been a part of the same story ever since. It doesn’t matter where I am or…
Watching Her Sun Set
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(Originally published on Motherless Mom, July 6, 2019) I wanted to write about shedding old identities and went to Google “molting,” the process of snakes shedding their old skin as they grew, but accidentally typed “mottling” instead. Google very quickly corrected me with the top links from hospice and palliative…
#momguilt
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(Originally published on Motherless Mom, June 27, 2019) Mom Guilt is the not-so-secret secret that modern moms harbor. We feel it to varying degrees; Some of us splash in its puddles every now and again and the rest of us dive into the deep-end and stay in until we prune,…
Anxiety Playing Dress Up
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(Originally published on Motherless Mom, May 19, 2019) Growing up, there was a family member who was often anxious. She would clutch her chest and look panicked while breathlessly saying something like, “My anxiety is just real REAL bad right now” and her eyes would kind of bug out of…
Mother’s Day for a Motherless Mom
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(Originally published on Motherless Mom, May 12, 2019) When you’ve lost your mother, Mother’s Day takes on a new dimension. Before I became a mother myself, it was a day solely dedicated to wallowing in my heartbreak and extreme emotional distress. I would buy a bottle of Dewar’s scotch and…
Lost in the Fog: My PPD Story
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(Originally published on Motherless Mom, April 17, 2019) My story begins during my pregnancy with my oldest. After a whirlwind engagement and marriage, the military moved my husband and I several states away from our family and friends and I got pregnant almost immediately. I did what I always do…